Life of having a child dating was so much easier when they were young enough to tell to back off and break up with that lying, cheating SOB…my mind has been so preoccupied today with this BS and as much as I want to tell my daughter about the love of her life, my husband has said that we have to let her figure it out on her own and by telling her about the lying, cheating bastard, she’ll be angry at whoever tells her.
Damn! Don’t you just hate it when your other half if right and you know it but don’t want it to be true!?
Kirk and I have felt something has been going on with the boy for quite some time, there has been just an oddness about him for months. It’s not really any one thing that we could put our finger on, but there has been something in the air. Little things blowing in the breeze, catching our eyes here and there.
This boy was one of the reasons Kirk and I wanted Kaet to go away for school. The distant would teach her things like having to learn how to do for herself, to learn how to be independent and how to manage money. One other thing was that she was so into this boy, they had been together for so long that her world revolved around this boy, and by being away they would have to see if they were really meant to be. The separation would either bring them closer and stronger or so the exact opposite. God has a plan for her life and she needed to see if the boy was in His plan or now.
Last week when she was home for spring break, she was home for days before going to see him. We hoped that it was because they were starting to grow apart, but didn’t say anything or ask any questions. She’s 20, if she wants to talk, she’ll talk.
She went roping with Kirk and Bubba last Thursday night and afterwards Kirk said something was definitely going on, the boy was there but he socialized with his buddies and basically ignored her. Not long after he told me that, she came and told me that she was going over to the boy’s so they could talk. She was upset and it was almost midnight, but he lives about 10 minutes away and I knew I had to let her go but told her to message me that she got there and again before she left.
She came and talked to me when she got home, they have come to the feeling that they have become more life brother and sister in their relationship and that when they look back, it started about a year ago. She’ll be home the weekend after Easter and they will make the decision what to do when she comes back. Kind of go into their own corners and assess their feelings and kind of let things play out until she comes home and then they will decide whether to end it or not.
F***! I told her that she needed to make sure to listen to her gut when she’s evaluating, not her heart or her head, they cannot be depended on. Look back on various issues and see what her gut tells her, think about the future and listen to her gut. I also told her to think of what her life ambitions are, where she wants to go in life and then look at what he wants out of life. I so bad wanted to say, he’s a job hopper, he’s always looking for the next big thing and winding up with no job and in a bind…he’s not the kind of guy who would support her, she’d be supporting him! I didn’t, but gave her things to look at and see if they are on the same page, on the same road or not.
This afternoon I ran into one of our “other daughters” in town and asked her if Kaet had talked to her about what was going on, she said as much as she could with little brother with them when they were talking. This other daughter and this boy run in similar circles, so I plain out asked her if she knew if the boy was being unfaithful and she said, “Oh Yeah!”. I didn’t ask any other questions, I don’t need to know any specifics and I know I crossed the line somewhat by asking, but F***, I hate seeing my daughter made a fool of.
Keeping my mouth shut is proving to be really tough. I just hope that she figures it out soon and goes on to bigger and better things.
Life was just so much easier when she was still a minor and we could just say, this is it, you are done and that’s it. UGH!