Thinking About Life

My birthday is coming up shortly and it’s gotten me to thinking about my life~choices I’ve made over the years to bring me to the person I’ve become.  Thinking about the goals and dreams of the girl who graduated from high school and about the kind of person I was at age 18.

Oh, I know, our childhood is the shortest time of our lives, but it’s also the time that forms who we are up to that point in time~what we believe and forms those hopes and dreams for our future.

Great Grandpa Peter T. and Great Aunt Ruby

As most know~I was born into a multi-generational farm family.  When I was only a few months old we moved from the family farm started by my Great Grandpa Peter T. and Great Granda Anna.  That was when dad separated from farming with his dad and brothers and began his own operation while still running some cattle with his dad.

Terry, Tim, Judy and Tom…dad and his siblings

We moved from about eight miles east of town to about nine miles west of town.  The farm had been owned for a couple generations or so by my Aunt Kate’s family~the widow of my mom’s brother.  A handful of so ears ago we learned from an old platt map that my Great-Great Grandma and Grandpa K had a farm homested just over the hill on a part of that land on the north side of the road.  Funny how you sometimes find links in the past to things in the present. 

me and the old boy

I lived on our farm west of town until the day I married at ae 20.  College was about a half-hour drive from home, so it didn’t make sense to live at the dorms in the city.

me, dad, mom, brother and sister

As the youngest by six and seven years~I spent a lot of time entertaining myself as a child.  Brother was always doing his own thing and Sister ran with the town kids and had no interest in farm life, she spent most of time in her room reading, in the den on the phone or laying out in the backyard.

I was often out exploring~climbing trees, visiting with the cattle, riding my Old Man Charlie, playing with my Barbies or Strawberry Shortcake dolls and reading and writing stories and dancing wherever I could carry my little tape player. 

me and my Old Man Charlie

I loved going places wit dad and helping him with the evening chores and riding in the cab tractor with him whn he was doing field work.  I was a daddy’s girl~kinda still am.  I was blessed with a dad who enjoyed having us do with him.
Wasn’t close with mom until after Kaet was born.  Mom was and still is a traditional farm wife.  She was cooking, baking, cleaning, doing laundry and working in the yard all day.  She cooked often for a table full at dinner and supper~with hired hands and friends stopping in to visit and staying to eat. During planting and harvest seasons she often hauled meals out to the field.  She still enjoys a table full of mouths to feed.

We grew up when parents weren’t expected to entertain their kids, that wasn’t their job, which is how I still see it.  Brother played baseball in elementary and middle school for our local small town league, other than that, it was only school activities for us.  We weren’t town kids!

I did get to take dance lessons when one of mom’s best friends starting teaching tap lessons out of her basement when I was in the first grade.  One lesson a week and I took the bus there.  Being there were a few of us farm girls in the same area taking dance on the same day~the farm moms took turns car pooling a month at a time.  Anymore running than that and it wouldn’t have happened.

When I was in the 5th grade mom went to work in the city.  When I was in the 6th grade Brother graduated from high school and Sister graduated when I was in the 7th grade.  After that it was me, mom and dad at home with Brother still farming with dad and moving in and out of the basement for years~depending on whether or not he was seriously dating anyone or not. 

I feel it was those years after Sister moved away that I really started forming who I was to become.  I wasn’t the baby sister anymore, I was basically an only child. 

When I was in the 6th grade I made a new friend in a different clique.  My preppy friends didn’t like my new friend and I felt that I needed to decide between the two groups since the two didn’t mesh.  Many times over the years I’ve thought I really made the wrong decision.  I chose the farm girl and her friends.

Long story short, she was what we would now days call a toxic person.  I had no guts to stand up for myself towards her and for years just put up with her treating me like shit when she was in one of her moods, afraid if I unfriended her that I’d have to friends.  I was so insecure~still am.  I’ve never liked to make waves or to rock the boat.  She is the reason I preached to my kids to not put up with any friend that treats you lik crap.  

Now that I’ve totally gotten off subject…will continue next time…

Peace! ❤

2 thoughts on “Thinking About Life

  1. A nice story, especially about how important our childhood years are to us. You have had a lot of learning and experiences which have made you into what you are today. That is one good thing about birthdays, they give us the chance to look back to where we came from and where we are today, and the choices that have brought us this far.

    Liked by 1 person

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