The Winds of Change

Big life change…ma starts working at the local elementary school on Tuesday morning.  It was a really hard decision to make, one that made me sick to my stomach at the thought of the unknown after having been a stay-at-home mom for the majority of the past 23 years. It’s something I’ve thought about since spring and visited with one of our “other daughters” who is an Aide at the school and think may be right up my alley.  Ash took my application in on Tuesday, received the call this afternoon…was told I could start tomorrow if I wanted…but chose a meeting to learn the ins and outs of the job and so on.  I am absolutely terrified of change!  Will be nice to feel as though I’m accomplishing something again! 

The best will be that it’s only during school hours, no weekends and no nights besides school programs.  Will still be able to be home for my guys and go with when there’s a rodeo or roping.  That was one of my major worries being I’ve been able to be there for everything over the years.

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(these two normally won’t sleep this close, but mom made a couple new afghans)

Had been having THE BEST WEEK in a long time until this morning.  Our girl is on her one week vacation and came home this year instead of staying out west.  She finally found a class to carry a gun, so she wasn’t able to get home until around suppertime on Sunday.  Actually had both kids in one house, actually in the same room, for the first time in YEARS.  Rather funny, the top bunk and K aren’t the best of friends…but she seemed to actually be enjoying hanging out with her little brother again.  Made ma’s heart feel good.

Yesterday we took Gramma to the city to the hotdog shop, was always one of our things and it had been a couple years.  Afterwards we went to the Catholic park and walked off those hotdogs, Gramma and I had each been there once, K hadn’t been before.  Took her awhile but she found Moses…he was who she wanted to find aften Jesus.

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Was even able to pull a fast one and stop at a cemetery in the city where I found my Great Great Grandmother and her second husband and two sons.  Cemeteries freak my girl out and I find such peace walking cemeteries and reading stones.  She gets that from her father, he doesn’t like going either.

We’d been having such a nice time…when I got up to get Bubba going for school this morning she was roaming the house.  Her boyfriend of almost three years called at 4 am to say he wasn’t sure about their relationship anymore.  Is he freaking kidding me, she’s six hours away on vacation with her family and he pulls a stunt like this?! 

He’s here now, she met him in the city where they are spending the night.  She texted to say they’ve working things through…they came to the realization they’ve let work and friends get in the way to the point where they are basically roommates.  They have work to do but seem to want to work on it. 

Don’t know what she’ll do if they break up.  No family out there, no friends close enough for her to room with if they do.  They have a pickup they split the payment and insurance on, the downpayment was the vehicle she’d been driving since she graduated high school that we gave her when she graduated from college…she’d never be able to afford that payment on her own, rent, she has a good job but not high paying enough to get a place of her own, no matter how cheap.  She did tell him that if they did break up and she had to move home, there would be no going back.  She’d been working at a bank for almost two years now and just became a loan officer over the summer, that’s a hard job to leave and try to find new. 

Mom is feeling so much stress…thankfully she takes after her dad and doesn’t let too much stress her out and has always put her head down and plowed on when times have been tough.  Not real having with DingBat tonight for pulling this on her at this time.  She hasn’t been able to come home for this long in over two years.  Going to have a hard time being civil when they come home tomorrow.  I will be, but it won’t be easy…selfish comes to mind, it could have waited two days until she went back out west. But that’s mom speaking. 

Now I have to start to thinking about shower and bed.  I’ve been a major night owl for over two decades now (since K was born I’ve always waited until the kids have been in bed for the night to do my thing and have never been able to break it after both were in school) and the though of having to change is going to be tough, the meeting at the school is at 10:30, which isn’t too hard, but starting next week I’ll have to be at school at 8:00…pretty tough when I normally go to bed between 2:30 and 3.  I can do it…it’s worth it! 

melmpf  

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