Normally wouldn’t sit down to write this time of day, but I just can’t seem to focus on anything…figured I should just bite the bullet and sit for 30 minutes and see if I can’t slow down my brain.
Sat down a little while ago to do my daily readings, something I’ve been slack on lately…when I couldn’t get through a paragraph of my Bible reading without my mind wandering off, it was time to change what I was doing. Started getting laundry to together, sorted and a load started and had several things popping around in my mind, figured it was time to sit down and write.
You know, I’ve been so blessed in my life. Grew up in the 70’s and 80’s, such a simple time. Well, being a kid should be a simple time no matter what time it is. Recently I was thinking about how different my childhood was compared to my kids and so wish my kids could have grown up like I did, running wild and free on the farm without a care in the world other than not wanting to wear that slip with that damned dress mom was making me wear to Sunday School. Oh, how I hated those damned slips! I grew up in a bubble, so naive to so many things when I went out into the world. At one time I thought that was a bad thing, it was a really good thing.
I recall very few bad things of what was going on in the world prior to upper high school. I remember being afraid of going to war with Muammar Gaddafi way back when I was little. I remember the occasional negative comment about Jimmy Carter and really that’s about it.
Makes me think of something mom used to say from time to time when we were kids and obviously I must say it because my kids have said the phrase from time to time and smile each time they do…”You have more aches and pains than Carter has pills” or “You bitch and complain more than Carter has pills”. Not sure if that was a saying at the time or just something out of my mom’s mouth, we have kept the saying going without realizing it!
I’m a person who watches and listens to the news/political shows/talk radio, have for ages. Recall sitting and watching the 5:30 Evening News with Dan Rather as a kid, mom and dad didn’t watch the evening news….neither did my siblings. Remember sitting cross legged in front of the tv, on the floor in the living room. Started watching Headline News back in the mid-90’s when The Girl was little and have ebbed and flowed over the years. Have always tried to catch myself having the news on when the kids were growing up, not wanting to scare them. Still have to watch myself to this day with Bubba, at 15, he still gets spooked really easily if he doesn’t catch a story from the very beginning.
It would be great if my kids could look back and remember taking off into the corn field on foot and walking around an entire field, watching the butterflies and grasshoppers and making up stories as they walked. They didn’t have that on our 11 acres. Even spending all the time they did at my folks, it’s something they never did. My kids are the type that couldn’t think of anything to do outside, have always thought that was really sad. Would have loved to have a tree grove growing up like we do here, my siblings and I would have played in the trees for hours upon hours. Whenever I’d mention it they would be like, “what am I supposed to do when I go out into the trees”?
My cousin Brooke and I would take big logs from the firewood on the front porch and set them up as hurdles in the front yard when we’d set up a “track” to race, we’d play track and field. We did have imaginations and we laugh so hard some days when we get to talking about some of the things we did as littles. We were always being told to “go outside and play” by our mothers. My kids will remember their time at Gramma and Grampa’s with their cousins, sitting in the house and waiting for the kitchen timer to go off to say it was time for the next kid in line to get computer time and Gramma not wanting the kids to play outside because they’d get hurt or it was too muddy or too cold. Mom has said numerous times she didn’t have to worry about us like she does the grands. Craziness! I’m always telling the kids to get off the couch and that damned computer and those stinkin phones and go outside! Gramma backs that up with telling me it’s her house and not my place to tell the kids what to do. UGH! Don’t recall if my grammas were that way.
On the awesome side…went to the Iowa Lakes with my mom and Bubba on Saturday. Mom’s older and only brother passed away a little over a year ago and his wife wanted mom to have some family things he’d had passed down to him. The large Bible above was my Great-Grandma Lucy’s, mom thinks it may have been her mother’s. The little books on top are school books of my 2X Great-Grandpa McKee (Lucy’s dad) and written in the one says 1858 Comaghy…he came from Ireland in 1865. One of the small Bibles says to Martha from Mother…Grandma Lucy wrote in it saying it was given to her mother Martha from her mother Letticia…how awesome is that?
We have to go back again, the large secretary that goes with these books was too big for my the short box of my pickup. The deal is, the books were kept in Great-Grandma Lucy’s secretary, they stay with the secretary. Sometimes being the baby of the family has it’s advantages! No, actually, my brother has the desks of both of our grandfathers and my sister the desk of my mom’s mom…I said it was only fair that when the day came, that I should get it. Mom said she doesn’t want it, doesn’t want that responsibility, so if I have a place to put it now, I could have it now.
Also had the chance to stop at my cousin and her husband’s fish shop (not really sure what it’s called, all fishing stuff). We don’t get the chance to see Cousin T very often, so was a great 30 minutes. She introduced us to a the regulars that came in, such a kick one of the older guys started telling some stories and referred to me as Cousin…made me smile.
Of course Ruby Pearl got to come along for the ride, in her Nebraska Cornhusker gear! This was the best behaved she was the entire trip, next time she stays home with dad!
Hugs and Prayers for Peace for One and All! Hug your loved ones and tell them you love them everyday!
Had a grand day today! Met up with my high school art teacher for lunch, guessing the employees at Olive Garden LOVED our taking up a table for two hours. Ms. H. was one of my most favorite teachers during my grade school years, we bonded and was always able to talk to her about any and everything. We’ve stayed in touch on and off over the 26 years I’ve been out of school, she was at my wedding and she invited me to her wedding. She’s kinda awesome! One of the few people in my life who has always been blunt and point blank with me in any issue.
Been bonding with my cousin Brookie the past several days, being busy we hadn’t talked all summer. Was pretty funny, about a week or so ago Bubba asked if Brookie and I were fighting, he said we hadn’t had any of our epic three hour phone conversations in ages. Boys, they don’t get that the best of friends can get busy with life and go months without talking and then have time to get in touch and it’s like three months haven’t passed.
During Hurricane Irma my father-in-law send Old Boy and others of us in the family this app called Marco Polo…if you haven’t tried it, it’s AMAZING! I’m not a big fan of texting, it takes too stinking long and that speech to text thing doesn’t work for me since the damned thing seems to have issues understanding the words I’m spewing. It’s a virtual walkie talkie, you hit the record button and can talk to your little heart’s content, hit stop and it goes to the person you want…and if they are on the app at the same time, they can listen to you in real time, or listen to at a later date. Brookie and I have been having way too much fun talking at each other the past several days!
Sadly, woke up Saturday morning to read that a guy whom I rode the school bus with for many years and whom graduated from high school with my brother, passed away overnight of a heart attack, he was 51 years old. One of the few guys whom Brother would have over from time to time, was always kind to me. Really hating this getting older thing. Daily I check the obituaries on line and hope to not read a name I know. It’s getting harder and harder.
Now is time for my new daily thing to look forward to…have discovered a channel that has two episodes of Barney Miller on five days a week. So loved watching those reruns when I was a little kid! Comes on at midnight, perfect ending to the day, only wish it were on seven days a week. Might have to order the DVD’s from Netflix! It’s the little things in life, right?
Take Care! Peace!
Many moons ago when The Girl was just a little a series of events happened within a short time that from time to time we still get a good laugh about.
When three years old a friend gave us a blue heeler pup, the runt of the litter, we named him Sam.
Girlie and Sam were inseparable from the start, they were quite the pair! As they grew their bond became so strong that no one besides me, The Old Boy and the grandparents could get near her without Sam coming between. In time we started calling him Brother, it fit. Living in a small town of about 250 and with my working at the town’s small Mart and with Brother going with us almost everywhere, people knew Sammy at K’s Brother.
Think it was the summer after K turned 5 that a new family to town bought and started up the small town cafe. Often K and I would go to the cafe at noon with our friend Miss Velma, eat dinner and socialize. Almost always we wouldn’t eat all our food, we’d get a box to take the leftovers home for Brother.
One day Miss Velma was laughing as she said she had a hoot of a story. The owners of the cafe were rather concerned about K’s brother, we never brought him in to eat with us and they never saw this brother any other time when they would see me and K. The very kind people thought we had this little boy at home that we didn’t bring out in public and would take our leftovers home to! Miss Velma told them that they had seen Brother, the blue heeler dog we often had with us when walking around town. They’d never even thought that the dog could be the Brother we took our food home to!
About that same time a young family moved to town, not far down the street from where we were living. The mother came to me one day with a story. This mom was teaching Vacation Bible School in town and K was with her group. After the story she told she asked all the kids to raise their hands if they had siblings and K raised her hand. Mrs. H. asked K about her siblings being she’d seen us many times and had never seen any other children. K said she had a brother named Sammy, he was her dog!
The love between a girl and her dog, absolutely priceless!
I can honestly say I can’t think of many regrets in my life~maybe because I have the mindset of an optimist. Okay, I can say that there are things I wish I’d never started or stopped doing and plenty of those “what in the hell was I thinking” moments. I try not to let myself get too down and look for any positive in any situation.
I guess my major regret in life is losing my strong determination in most things when it comes to myself, letting myself off the hook too easily when it comes to things that need to be done, something that I’ve actually started working on since the school year began last week.
I recall a major turning point the summer break between 8th and 9th grades where I can see a time in life I made a huge step in my life. It was the start of a few year change progression in myself that I’m wanting to adjust to the age I am now, which was oddly exactly 30 years ago. Holy Crap…where have those years gone?
In the few years leading up to that change I’d made a change in friends, the entire type of kids I hung around with at school. Part of me could look at that time as a regret, but years ago I realized it was a teaching tool with my kids. It really has been a positive in their not letting their “friends” treat them in the way I let mine treat me, and to not treat friends that way either.
During 6th grade I took what I thought was the easy way for myself. My elementary school best friends were preppy and athletic, the older we got the more I felt out of place and I began to gravitate towards more plain, less school involved kids. Oh, the others were still friends, but became more people I didn’t feel so in tune with.
My new best friend pretty much was the “boss” of our little group of friends. She would bark and we’d do what she said because she had a hell of a temper. If she was mad at one of us we found ourselves eating alone at lunch and entertaining ourselves alone during recess.
I see 7th grade as a major change, I became weak, she’d bark and I’d jump. I’d spend the night at her house and it could be 1 a.m., she’d wake up pissed off at me and would chew me out and would get more pissed off if I’d try to go back to sleep. I became a nervous wreck and unable to stand up for myself. If mom said no spending the night one night she’d tell me to keep asking, keep asking, getting pissy with me until my mom would get mad and say yes just to shut me up.
The summer between 7th and 8th grade and 8th grade was horrible. I only became worse and worse at standing up for myself against her. There were still good times though. I absolutely adore her parents and there are some good memories that outweigh the ugly times.
I found my strength the start of the summer after 8th grade. Oddly, from my mom and sister, although I’m sure they never realized it. More than once I’d overheard talk of mom and sister not liking the friend, it gave me strength. It was wonderful, other than the dozens of calls from her to want to talk. I stayed strong and told her repeatedly that our friendship was over. It was a weight off my shoulders and it felt good.
Over the summer I started keeping a journal, diary, or whatever you want to call it. It’s something I did on and off for years and still do on occasion when going through hard times.
When the school year started it was tough, all our friends were mutual, and although I was still friends with all my old good friends, it was different, didn’t feel comfortable sitting with them at lunch or hanging out with them before school. We became friends again, but on different terms. Mine. We didn’t go back to hanging out after school 24/7, we were school friends and that was about it.
I continued getting stronger throughout high school~starting taking dance lessons again~started working out~watching what I ate~cut down on my pop addiction and started drinking more water. Stronger!
In time I felt the need for religion in my life, we’d stopped going to church a few years earlier and I felt the need and started praying daily and reading the Bible daily. I began making to do lists each day and accomplishing everything before going to bed. It felt so good to be accomplished and strong.
Fast forward to my mid-20’s. Married, one child, have worked, have stayed home to be mom and worked again for need. We moved to a town where I met some great people who are still my friends today. I recall feeling at that time that I’d never had friends such as there. Had never felt I so belonged before. Didn’t have to change who I was or tip-toe around anyone~I could be me.
During this time I started letting myself get away with letting things go. I started letting life happen. I let myself lost my strength and determination. Have been struggling on and off since that time. Have only gotten worse and worse over time. I hate it~it’s the one real regret I have.
Of course, I’ve begun working at this, I really feel I need the strength~structure and determination back in my life. I know it’s what I’ve been missing for so long. We have one child grown and flown and the other in high school and off and doing with buddies more and more.
Regrets~don’t have many~looking for the positive spin on things seems to be what works best for me.
School is back in session! This is the first year in many that we only have one yahoo in school. The Girl graduated college this past December and now The Boy is a Freshman in high school. Thinking it should be bothering me, but this summer seemed to last FOREVER, so I’m reveling in having the place to myself to actually get some work done. As I told The Old Boy earlier today, time to get the place back in order after letting things go over the summer.
Days ago I sat down with my notebook and added to the list of afghans to make, adding the kiddos who will graduate in May who are special to make afghans for. Going to have to pick up my game and increase my crocheting time from two hours a day to three or four…two nephews, two nieces and two cousins, also want to throw together a temperature afghan together for our 25th wedding anniversary in May. Going to have to do better at managing my time, which is a goal I have for this school year. Something I was really good at before The Boy was born.
So, big plans for myself starting now! Yesterday was chomping at the bit, so much to do and of course the patience of one thing at a time and everything not being able to be done at once, kept having to remind myself. Absolutely positive right now and hoping I can stay that way. One small step at a time, right!?
Best Wish to All! Peace!
It’s that time again…ticking down the days until school starts back for a new year. It’s been a long summer, time to get the boy back to the grind and myself back to some sort of routine again.
(somewhere around Niobrara, Nebraska)
We’ve actually had a rather nice summer around the homestead, The Old Boy and I actually toned it down this year, have diddled around the place and let the DNA take over and played Hobby Farmers. Old Boy has torn down fence, put up new fence, torn down old and put up more new. He’s seemed to really have enjoyed it. I’ve played barefoot in my flower garden many evenings with an audio book playing.
Bubba won’t admit it, but he seems to be getting bored with our slow pace this summer. He kept busy until the past month or so, bond fires with friends in the evenings, driving up and down the driveway with his pickup in the evenings while visiting with his friends on the phone. He’s on his third girlfriend of the summer, so spending time with her a little now. First football game of the season is tonight, so he’s going to watch her dance at half-time and then they are going to bond fire with friends until I go get him. Five months and he’ll have his drivers license, will be so nice!
We haven’t done out normal small trips this summer like we have for many summers. The kids and I started taking my mom on mini-vacations each summer about 12 or 13 years ago. No one could get into the groove this year. With The Girl gone and out in Western Nebraska, and with Bubba being 15, mom and I are the only ones really wanting to go, but going without the kids doesn’t sound fun though.
We did take an afternoon trip to West Bend, Iowa to The Grotto of The Redemption…my mom, Bubba and my niece Lu. Beautiful, peaceful place…one doesn’t need to be Catholic to feel the beauty of this place.
(The Grotto of The Redemption…West Bend, Iowa)
My guys humored me a few weeks ago and went with me to Winnebago, Nebraska to their 151st Pow Wow…AMAZING! Had been wanting to for years, this year I decided it was time, less than two hours from where we live, so the boys weren’t away from their work for too long. It wasn’t really their thing, but I absolutely LOVED it! The drums, the clothing…don’t know what to say other than it was amazing!
(Pow Wow at Niobrara, Nebraska)
This past weekend I stepped outside of my box and did something I’ve never done before…went on a mini-trip while leaving my boys at home in charge of the dogs. There was a Pow Wow in Niobrara, Nebraska that I wanted to go to and the boys did not, our daughter said she’d meet me and go, having never been to one. We met in O’Neill and spent the night, we swam and visited for about an hour at the end of the evening. Definitely something we’ll have to do again.