Nervous Mama

Okay, for about a month now I’ve been saying that it’s about time for the kiddos to go back to school…now that it’s here, starting to get some anxiety.  

Helicopter Mom be damned!


Yesterday afternoon I took Bubba to his new school, my old school.  We walked through his schedule so he’d know where each room was and met most of his teachers.  One gal had enough time to chat with us that I was able to see and feel a change in him.  

Mrs. H. actually talked him into talking to the junior high football coach about the possibility of playing, called the coach and chatted on the phone with him.  He’s actually considering it!  So happy he’s at least thinking about it.  He’s gone back and forth between wanting to play and not wanting to play, think his not knowing how to play is what is holding him back and Mrs. H. and Coach were able to relay to him that he would be taught how to play, not just thrown in without knowing what to do as when he played league football a couple seasons ago.

He and Mrs. H. talked about reggae and playing guitar and her knowing people that we know and being able to have a conversation with her about people that both knew, I don’t know, he really relaxed and I felt a sense of happiness or something positive radiate off of him.  Bubba is good at hiding when he’s excited about or looking forward to things, he usually waits until he’s alone with me and then shows the excitement. 

We wound up being at the school for about an hour.  It was fun, just for myself, to be back in my old stomping grounds.  I’m excited that this school doesn’t run on ipads, the kids need to have notebooks and will be given actual text books to hold in their hands!  Bubba is going into 7th grade and I can’t recall him ever bringing a text book home and Kaet seldom ever did and didn’t in high school at all because everything was on the ipads.  There is a place for them, but I just don’t think they should be used for every class and for the kids to have access to them at all times.  But…that’s just my opinion.

Sending the boy off to a new school is so much easier with the fact that he knows at least a dozen kids at the school.  My brothers kids, six of them between the two, my niece is a high school football cheerleader.  Bubba has also always been the type of kid that makes friends very easily, don’t know what it is, but he seems to draw people to him, something Kirk and I have never understood.  It’s a smaller school, as he is used to.  When I was in high school, there were less than 200 kids in the high school, my class was the biggest class by a number of years on either side of us, right about 45 of us!  The town has grown a bit, but I don’t think there is too much of a change in amount of students.  

Actually, dad seems to be more nervous about sending Bubba to my old school.  When he first started working on our farm, he thought I was a stuck up snob before even getting to know me, he said it was solely because of the school I went to, we were known to be stuck up snobs.  Hell, every school has arrogant people, can’t escape that and just as well learn now to deal with people like that when you are young, makes it easier for dealing with them when they are older.  

The big thing is that Shorty is heading back to college, she starts on Monday.  Think that’s where most of my anxiety is coming from.  We’ve gotten so used to having her coming and going and being around most of the summer, now it’s time to get used to her being gone again.  

I’m actually really excited for her new year in college.  She’s really seemed to find herself over the past four or five months, has become more confident and level headed.  Looking forward to see what this year has to hold for her!  As a mom of a tit baby, I’m just happy to seeing her get back to not having mom and dad to lean on and maybe her friends getting her out to do some fun things.  Guessing she pry hasn’t gone out and about with friends 10 times this summer.  She’s 20, she really should be living life a little more!

Needless to say though, mama is starting to feel the anxiety tonight.  It’s time for a change in all our routines, we are all needing a shake up around here, and that’s a good thing!  


Monday Night

It’s that time of night again, my Finn and I are watching our Bill O’Reilly, winding down for the night.  Okay, well I am, Finn is passed out in his dog bed…he’s had a long day, we had a couple guys doing some cement work out front of the house today, so he and the two other minions spent much of the day with their feet up on the windows, barking their ever loving heads off.  


Haven’t been much in the mood for writing lately…with the changing of the seasons comes the craziness of spring and the beginning of outside and traveling roping season.  Working on getting re-accustomed to the change of pace and getting my head back on straight for what needs to be done and what’s not a priority.  Getting the calendar figured out as far as possible and getting lists and plans made for various goings on.  Always takes a bit of juggling to get back into that groove, I’m blonde…I cannot multi-task!  

If I don’t have the kitchen timer on when I’m cleaning, more than likely I’m going to forget to change loads of laundry on a fairly regular basis.  We have three needy chihuahuas who think that if I’m cleaning or basically doing anything in which they all can’t be sitting on my lap, they are giving me the guilt trip.  They are such needy little buggers and I’m only too happy to humor them and sit and watch a show or read for awhile so they can snuggle up and be happy.  

Recently my husband and I talked about what type of furniture we’d like to get for our family room when Bubba gets a little older and stops shoving wads of gum between the couch cushions…Kirk said hell, lets just get a couple of the over sized recliners for the two of us and then beanbag chairs for the dogs…easy!  The dogs love those beanbag chairs!  Kaet wasn’t humored, but then again, she seldom is.  

Kaet has actually been able to come home from college two weekends in a row!  This past weekend she stayed with one of “our other daughters”, they had roping school on Saturday.  Only saw her for a few minutes though, Bubba and I have been sick and on antibiotics, so she wasn’t about to come home, can’t say as though I blame her.  I wouldn’t have wanted to come home either. She has just over two weeks of school left for the year!  Excited to have her home again, then again…guessing it’s going to take some time to get used to having her home full time again.  She has two jobs lined up for the summer, so pry won’t be tripping over one another too much.  

Actually, getting ready for a major life change.  After over a year of issues and four doctors, the forth was finally able to figure out my problem and next week I’m getting a hysterectomy.  It’s a big thing and I’m thankful that we have been done having children for a great many number of years, and Kirk got fixed a long time ago.  Still, it’s a big thing.  I’m not so worried about the surgery because I am so ready for be done with my issue, what I’m really worried about is the SIX WEEKS of recovery.  We are farm people.   It’s just the very beginning of traveling season for my husband with his team roping.  It’s time to start tilling and working my gardens…I am going to have to depend on my family to do the bulk of everything…let’s just say that they don’t necessarily put my needing to be done items very high up on their list and nagging does not work for my people.  I’m afraid things are going to fall apart around here.  

Maybe someday I’ll learn how to let go of a little bit of control and let things JUST BE around here.  I’ve tried it from time to time, then my controlling nature has taken control once things began to fall apart.  Getting better…maybe this six weeks won’t go so badly as I’m assuming.  

Bill is over, so I should pry get off here and get a few things done for the night.

Peace Out!

Life Is Good

Saturday night and we have EVERYONE home!  Kaet is home from college on spring break as is her sister from another set of parents, both are here and up in the bedroom giggling.  Both Kirk and Leo are in bed.  I’m in my cave watching a little Walker, Texas Ranger, crocheting and doing a little bit of Sudoku…life is good!

So nice on the rare occasion both girls are able to be home at the same time, they’ve only been able to be home at the same time a few times since August.  Being 11 hours apart has been quite an adjustment for these two attached at the hips girls.  An adjustment for the moms too!  And their little brothers too!

Kirk and I have really seen a change in Kaet since school started.  We wanted her to go away to school so she would learn more than just what she would be learning in classes.  To us, the life lessons she is learning by having to be on her own, although in a controlled atmosphere, is just as important to us.  Hoping for her to learn the things I didn’t learn until after I was married.

With all that being said, I can’t say as I like some of the changes that I am seeing.  The mouth on that child!  I shouldn’t have to constantly remind her of the way in which she shouldn’t be speaking to her mother.  I’m not a prude, well…I don’t think I am.  My husband cusses like a sailor and I don’t have the cleanest mouth at times, but I would NEVER cuss around my parents, aunts or uncles, it’s not appropriate.  It’s not respectful.  She can’t seem to tell a story without using every other word in the book.

Kirk and I know how college kids are, we aren’t stupid, wasn’t that long ago that we were her age…or so it feels like it wasn’t that long ago.  I never was a big drinker, alcoholism runs in my family and I didn’t want to go down that road, I also had a fear of my parents finding me drunk, so I seldom drank before I was legal and still seldom drink.  My fear of them didn’t have anything to do with anything other than their yelling at me and being disappointed in me.  

I don’t want to know if or when she’s been drinking nor do I want to hear any stories.  Last night she tried telling me a couple stories and I just kept saying, a mom doesn’t want to know this stuff…all I want to know is that you are safe when you drink. Don’t be stupid!  We’ve raised her knowing about the alcoholism that runs on both sides of her family, that she needs to be smart…too many of my cousins have gone down that path that our older relations have gone down.

As much as we love having her home, we feel almost a sense of anxiety when she is home.  No, anxiety isn’t the right word. Things just get shaken up around here, routine gets off track.  She loves coming home too, but she goes from having full charge of all her comings and goings when she’s out west to having a curfew when she’s here, can’t be easy.  She doesn’t feel like she needs to do anything while she’s here, like picking up after herself.  Gets frustrating.

Kirk and I have already talked about wondering what it’s going to be like when she gets home for the summer.  Could be an interesting summer.  

Yet…it feels so good having everyone home under one roof!   


Is it spring yet?

Lately I’ve really, REALLY, been trying not to complain…we could have it so much worse…in all actuality we’ve had a really good winter.  It’s been stinkin’ cold as hell, but at least we have had some breaks…we’ve had snow, but nothing like out east.  We have been really fortunate, but SERIOUSLY, enough of winter already!  

My boys and I have really been fighting the winter blues the past week or so.  We have been fighting going into hibernation on an almost daily basis around here.  So ready for some spring temps, I promise I won’t even complain when our gravel road turns into a muddy slop hole!  

On a plus side, the daughter went to Minneapolis last week for a business conference with some of the guys from her college.  Farm kids go to the big city!

Kaet Min. Trip 2

She’s been to Denver and Minneapolis in the past month.  She’s now done the whole public transportation thing.  Has had a taxi driver ask if the kids knew where to buy meth.  She’s stayed in a five star hotel and a real dump complete with the experience of having a guy knocking on the doors asking if anyone had seen his hooker.  Quite the experience for a girl who grew up in such a small town rural area where the two closest towns have a population of about 100 people, depending on the direction of the wind on any given day.  

So tickled to see her having such experiences at such an early age!  She sure struggles with her studies, doesn’t always like school, doesn’t always like being so far away from home.  Kirk and I have really been pushing her, encouraging her to embrace all these opportunities she’s been given…being an adult comes way too soon.  

Now if she would just ditch her boyfriend of over two years, Kirk and I would be over the moon!  One of those situations where he’s a really nice guy and we do like him, but just don’t see him as the most suitable partner for life. Had a friend tell me some time ago that we’ll never be happy with who our child chooses.  Suppose that’s a story as old as time.  

Well, it’s that time of night…time for a little Walker, Texas Ranger before thinking about talking myself into trying to go to bed. The life of a night owl!