Saturday 19. May 2019

Words of the week at school this past week were condescend and nag. Want to throw junior high age kids for a loop, use big words and they will actually get out the dictionary…in book form…to look it up. I’ve always spoken to my children as I would adults, at least when it comes to words I use and I do no different at school. If kids don’t know a word they will ask. A couple weeks ago it was debonair. The funny thing is I’ve never seen myself as a person of words, often feel as though I cannot express what I want in a mature fashion…the kids have been making me feel otherwise as of late. The best is when I discover them using those words days past first introduction to said words.

School and life has been along the road of “when it rains in pours” kind of road. I honestly do not know how people who work full time are able to put 100% into their home life when it comes to housework. Those who can do it, God bless you…I cannot. I feel as though the house is beyond the point of rescue and on the weekends I feel like I want to destress from the week and relax but know I have to get work done around the house…feel like I’m on a hamster wheel. Overwhelmed doesn’t quite explain how I feel right now. Guess in the glass half full department the boy did get me baskets and baskets of dirty laundry yesterday after school. That’s something, right?

Work has been so tense lately. There have been days I’ve wanted to leave midday and days I haven’t wanted to come back. The aides are having issues with the ways some aides are doing their job, some have popped into a room and heard an aide complaining to a teacher about the said popped in aide does things. Then there’s the one or two teachers who see the way a few aides do things as wrong and demand aides change their ways although all other teachers have no problem with said ways…my body has ached for days now from the tension and stress in the building.

Damned thing is, we are a small school…we have one preschool teacher, one kindergarten teacher…one teacher for each grade through the fifth grade…that is how small of school we are. In the sixth grade we have three homerooms, each with 18 kids at the most…building only goes through the eighth grade. We have one resource room for the elementary and one resource room for the junior high, when people call in aides are pulled from one side of the building to the other…it’s impossible to avoid those we are having problems with. I’ve done a pretty good job avoiding one teacher the past two months who scolded me…in front of a class…for helping a nonresource kid because I am only an aide…yes, only…and then proceeded to tell the class that they are not to ask me anything. Being told you are ONLY something really helps boost a person’s self esteem. Sweetly, several of the kids that were in the room came to me afterwards telling me that I wasn’t ONLY to them.

Eight days of class yet to go this year. Have really been struggling on whether to go back next year or not. The teacher I mainly work under has said repeatedly that I am coming back, she likes what I’ve done and how I work with the kids. Next year there will be a new superindentant for the entire school, a new junior high principal and a new elementary principal and have been told to give it a shot, things may get better under new higher powers. The new junior high principal has been talked to and has given me and another aide the go ahead to job share next year, something we’ve both felt would work so much better with our lives outside of school…so thinking I’m going to give it a go and see how it works out. I really do enjoy working with the kids and enjoy most of the people I work with, but I know working full time and juggling all aspects of life is a hard for me. Not the best multi-tasker out there.

Summer is about here and so looking forward to it. Excited to get out and get some things accomplished….and maybe get back into writing.

Until Again,