Tuesday 26. November 2019

Watching a Hallmark Christmas movie with my Sweet Finn tonight, he’s all snuggled up in his nest of a blanket, next to me here on the couch.  The wind and snow is swirling outside, snow stuck to the windows thanks to the sleet we had earlier in the evening.  No school tomorrow for neither me nor The Boy…schools called off earlier this evening.  Second snow of the season and by far worse than the first.

I normally don’t begin watching Christmas shows before Thanksgiving, but feeling sentimental this year…well more so this early in the season anyhow.  This snow storm started in Colorado yesterday, so The Girl was hit with this storm, being in Nebraska, calling off her and Dingbat’s trip home for Thanksgiving.  Feeling sorry for myself, I guess…this year is their year for staying out west for Christmas, so we don’t get her for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year and I have to say it’s getting to me.  Oh, she’ll be home in two weeks for my dad’s family Christmas gathering (Dingbat won’t be able to make it, selling cattle that weekend), it just won’t be a same though…having Christmas before Christmas.

Actually started thinking about Thanksgivings of old earlier today and that is what more or less started my “holiday sadness”…this year will be Old Boy, The Boy and myself with my folks, possibly my brother, doubtful his kids will come, they tend to go where their mother tells them to go, so they’ll be with their other side of the family.  My sister and her family are staying home this year, doing their own thing…she had some complaint about mom saying she’s not doing turkey anymore and so on and so forth…if she’s not bitching or being arrogant she’s not happy…so it will be better without that attitude to spoil the day.  Still….

When we were kids, each year we had a large family gathering with my mom’s side of the family.  Gramma, four siblings and all their kiddos…the place was packed.  This was when people still DRESSED UP for family gatherings.  The day would be filled with playing with the cousins and so much wonderful food.  The day would last and last. At a certain point in the day the cousins would start begging for the old family movies, Uncle Gene or dad would get out the movie projector and the screen and we’d watch the old films from before most of our time, when my brother and sister were the only grandchildren and Grandpa was still alive.  When the gathering was at our farm, and we wouldn’t have to leave early for evening cattle chores, Uncle Gene and Aunt Kate would stay (they had a couple hour drive home) and Uncle Gene would make grilled turkey sandwhiches…they were the best!  Have never in my life been able to make them taste near as delicious as Uncle Gene’s, his secret had to have been love!

Even in the early years of Old Boy and my dating and married years both sides of our families would have large family gatherings for Thanksgiving…the first ever family function I went to of his was Thanksgiving 1989.  We’d have noon with his family and evening with mine, the day lasted ALL DAY.  We don’t have those anymore, seems as though too many just don’t want to do it anymore and I don’t get it.  Maybe one has to be a sentimental old fool like me to want to continue with these old traditions.

Hoping the mood changes and that this year will be a good one after all.

Until Again,



I will totally admit that I am THAT relative that expects everyone to show up for each and every holiday function and damn it, everyone had best be happy or at least pretend to be happy or Crazy Aunt Mel comes out and hell hath no fury like family not getting along and being happy on a holiday!  Damn It!

Yesterday it hit me that Kaet won’t be able to come home for Easter this year.  I’m okay with that, I understand that the college isn’t giving the kids the time off, school just started back today from spring break.  Actually she’s going to go to church with a few friends from college.  Should be an interesting experience for her, we are Lutheran and her friends are Mormon, always enjoy learning something new in various religions.  

It also hit me yesterday that I have no one to color Easter eggs with.  I am big on ritual, the whole, we’ve always done it this way and damn it, we are always going to do things this way!  A little stuck in my ways.  Bubba is 13 now and he more or less said I was crazy thinking he was going to humor mom.

Messaged the neighbor lady a little while ago, her daughter is in the 11th grade, so asked her if she’d want to color eggs with me.  We’ve decided to get together Friday and have the kids sit with us while we color eggs.  Maybe they will decide to join in!  Should be fun!

What makes me sad is that Kirk doesn’t want to do anything with his family.  His folks moved to Florida a couple years ago and won’t be home.  He has one sister, she’s married and has two kids.  He’d said for years that when his folks finally moved down south, that he was done with family gatherings on his side.  It makes me so sad because Kirk and his sister where so close when they were kids.  

The first holiday his folks weren’t home was two Thanksgivings ago and I ignored Kirk and invited his sister and her family because my siblings were all busy with their other sides and it was just going to be us and my folks and it depressed me.  Afterwards I told him that I would abide by his wishes, I wouldn’t force it again, if he didn’t want to do things with his family, I would be quiet and honor his wishes.

I’m the person that wants every person possible to join in, the more the merrier.  I come from huge families on my mom and dad’s sides and every gathering there were dozens or people and now we are lucky to get a dozen together.  Makes me sad.

To me, family is the most important…family doesn’t have to be blood, although I did once believed differently.  Family is who make it!  We can choose our family!

I’m also the one that irritates everyone by insisting that EVERYONE should go to church for the holiday.  I want to say jump and I want the family to ask, “how high?”, while they are in the air jumping!  

Yes, I can be a royal pain in the ass!  But…that’s my job!