Thursday 24. October 2019

‘Tis that time of night~I’m the only one yet up and about~my favorite time of the day~late evening.  Such a peaceful time.  

The seasons have begun to change, autumn is in full swing…have had quite a bit of precipitation and chilly weather, the leaves have really been coming down.  Come autumn I’m always so happy to live in the country, we don’t have to rake leaves!  I love the look of the leaves carpeting the ground.  Always my favorite time of the year…although dread for it to end when the snow begins to swirl.  

I’m now back to being a mostly stay-at-home mom although in all reality I’m not needed so much now that our youngest is in his next to last year of high school.  Although working as an aide is only a “part time” position, my opinion is working only a few hours short of 40 hours a week is a full time job without the perks.  But, my opinion.  I was getting more and more behind with my work at home and feeling so tired from being on my feet all day and dealing with middle school “drama”…working only for something to do, it was apparent that something had to give…put my two weeks in and last Friday was my last day.  I will continue working as a sub up to two days a week, so will still get to see the kiddos and be of some help and get out of the house a bit.  

Not until last Thursday when I finally had to begin to the let the kiddos know that I was going to be leaving, did I realize just how important aides can be to these kiddos at such a crazy time in their youth.  Had not expected the crying, the “no, you can’t leave”, the “what am I going to do without you to talk to when I need to” type of heart hurting comments to be made.  Last year when I was hired the now retired middle school principal had said in the aides not so much of a teacher type person was wanted but more of a mother/grandmother type person.  The kids feel upset or frustrated or feel the need to vent, they…at least at our school…tend to come to the aides before the teachers or guidance counselor.  It’s not uncommon for when told a kiddo should really go to a teacher, the guidance counselor or the principal for said kiddo to ask if the aide can go with or maybe just talk to the person first.  It’s easy to become attached to the kids you’ve learned haven’t had it easy in life, especially when that kid who acted out so much has become a better behaved kid…you feel almost like you had a small part in that.  Those kids have a way of getting into a person’s heart.

When my kids were in school and would talk about certain aides or resource teachers being those they felt they could go to when stressed or having trouble with a class or a teacher I did not understand. There were no aides when I was in school.  I can absolutely understand if a parent would get upset by a child finding an adult at school to be their person to go to when having a hard time, I remember feeling that way with my oldest, but I totally get it and so thankful she had those few adults so could go to who could understand her because they were with her in the place she was having a hard time, they were able to do so much more for her.  

My son has a couple a ladies in high school he has a relationship with that I am so thankful for, that have helped him with his struggles in school with his learning difficulties.  Have told him that I’m glad he has those he can go to when another teacher has made him mad or feels treated him unfairly, someone who can help him navigate those rough waters and teach him how to do better.  Have learned those kids will come running with big grins on their faces and showing that really great grade they got in a class they’d been struggling with!  

Can you tell I miss my kiddos?  It also helps make an old lady feel of worth when her kids are basically all grown. Definitely do not miss the politics of the running of the place…nor do I miss the getting up early and going to bed early.  Not easy for a night owl.  

I do so love the peace of the evening!  

Until again…melmpf    

 

Thursday 10. March 2016 a.m.

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Slowly getting moving this morning…who the hell am I kidding…it’s always slow moving in the morning for this Old Lady…maybe if I learned to go to bed before 2 a.m. and could sleep for more than three or four hours at a time, but not holding my breath on that ever happening.  My favorite time of the day is late at night/the wee hours of the morning, such a peaceful time.

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The time of day I play the old shows Finn likes so much.  Kinda sad to say that I get such a kick watching my dog watch tv.  Something about the old black and white shows, shows with animals, the little bugger goes crazy barking and growling at the tv, jumping around like a Mexican Jumping Bean in front of the tv and running back and forth from the arm of the couch to the floor below the tv.  Yes, it’s a sad and pitiful life!  

This week I’ve been struggling dealing with the guys in my life…

First, really wish I could wrap my head around the way a 14 year old thinks!  Don’t know how many times this school year I’ve commented to my husband that I really wish I could get into a junior high aged boy’s mind….The Old Boy just laughs and doesn’t offer any insight.  The Boy just, is, well….GROSS!  Why?  

Is it really that hard to wash your face, brush your teeth and put on decent clothes every morning for school?  Seriously, the huffing and puffing about having to do the basic daily things in life. Getting the child to, oh, I don’t know, pick up the dirty clothes off his floor just once a week…next to impossible.  

This school year I’ve really come to feel like a failure as a boy mom.  I’ve been trying so hard to incorporate various things into our daily life that will strengthen him in mind, body and spirit, to teach him the importance of the basic day to day routines…so often I feel like a total and complete failure.  However, there are those occasional moments that make me feel like, wow…I’m getting through to him!  

Still, feel like raising a junior high aged girl was WAY easier than raising a junior high aged boy. Hope to get the hang of this boy thing at sometime in the near future…won’t hold my breath though.  

Then, my husband…LOVE him like no other, but there are times when I get so frustrated, as I’m sure he gets with me.  

Last weekend we were supposed to go to Guthrie, Oklahoma to the timed events at the Lazy E Arena, I’d mentioned it well before Christmas, we haven’t been in years and I was so excited about taking Bubba and going again.  Of course, as per usual, we weren’t able to find anyone to take care of horse chores, so it was a no go.  To tell the truth, don’t think The Old Boy looked too hard to find someone.  

I could have dealt with it better had a roping not come up that made me feel like he chose to not find someone to do chores so he could do something he would much rather do.  It wasn’t just a local roping, it was an out of state roping, he and his buddy left Friday afternoon and didn’t get home until late Sunday night.  BOOM!  Chore person for the weekend…right here!  

Spending the past almost 30 years with a cowboy, you’d think I’d be good with the routine of roping and rodeo coming first, most of the time I am…sometimes I’d like to come first.  I’d like to feel not guilty when I ask The Old Boy to cancel roping for something family related, which I seldom do.  Having grown up on a farm, one would think I’d be used to other things coming first.  Time for the fields to be put in, short window opening for getting the alfalfa down, baled and out of the field, ect.

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My husband is the typical header, there’s no changing him…to tell the truth, I wouldn’t want to. He’s all mine, pain in the ass and all…sometimes I just get frustrated.  Figure it’s pretty even, I can be a royal pain in the ass too!  I’m a Petersen, it’s a given!

Well crap…suppose it’s about time I get a few things done for the day…

Take Care!

Peace!