Thursday 24. October 2019

‘Tis that time of night~I’m the only one yet up and about~my favorite time of the day~late evening.  Such a peaceful time.  

The seasons have begun to change, autumn is in full swing…have had quite a bit of precipitation and chilly weather, the leaves have really been coming down.  Come autumn I’m always so happy to live in the country, we don’t have to rake leaves!  I love the look of the leaves carpeting the ground.  Always my favorite time of the year…although dread for it to end when the snow begins to swirl.  

I’m now back to being a mostly stay-at-home mom although in all reality I’m not needed so much now that our youngest is in his next to last year of high school.  Although working as an aide is only a “part time” position, my opinion is working only a few hours short of 40 hours a week is a full time job without the perks.  But, my opinion.  I was getting more and more behind with my work at home and feeling so tired from being on my feet all day and dealing with middle school “drama”…working only for something to do, it was apparent that something had to give…put my two weeks in and last Friday was my last day.  I will continue working as a sub up to two days a week, so will still get to see the kiddos and be of some help and get out of the house a bit.  

Not until last Thursday when I finally had to begin to the let the kiddos know that I was going to be leaving, did I realize just how important aides can be to these kiddos at such a crazy time in their youth.  Had not expected the crying, the “no, you can’t leave”, the “what am I going to do without you to talk to when I need to” type of heart hurting comments to be made.  Last year when I was hired the now retired middle school principal had said in the aides not so much of a teacher type person was wanted but more of a mother/grandmother type person.  The kids feel upset or frustrated or feel the need to vent, they…at least at our school…tend to come to the aides before the teachers or guidance counselor.  It’s not uncommon for when told a kiddo should really go to a teacher, the guidance counselor or the principal for said kiddo to ask if the aide can go with or maybe just talk to the person first.  It’s easy to become attached to the kids you’ve learned haven’t had it easy in life, especially when that kid who acted out so much has become a better behaved kid…you feel almost like you had a small part in that.  Those kids have a way of getting into a person’s heart.

When my kids were in school and would talk about certain aides or resource teachers being those they felt they could go to when stressed or having trouble with a class or a teacher I did not understand. There were no aides when I was in school.  I can absolutely understand if a parent would get upset by a child finding an adult at school to be their person to go to when having a hard time, I remember feeling that way with my oldest, but I totally get it and so thankful she had those few adults so could go to who could understand her because they were with her in the place she was having a hard time, they were able to do so much more for her.  

My son has a couple a ladies in high school he has a relationship with that I am so thankful for, that have helped him with his struggles in school with his learning difficulties.  Have told him that I’m glad he has those he can go to when another teacher has made him mad or feels treated him unfairly, someone who can help him navigate those rough waters and teach him how to do better.  Have learned those kids will come running with big grins on their faces and showing that really great grade they got in a class they’d been struggling with!  

Can you tell I miss my kiddos?  It also helps make an old lady feel of worth when her kids are basically all grown. Definitely do not miss the politics of the running of the place…nor do I miss the getting up early and going to bed early.  Not easy for a night owl.  

I do so love the peace of the evening!  

Until again…melmpf    

 

Tuesday 2. May 2017

Headed out the door to take Bubba to school and to the city to have the stitches in my hand taken out…FINALLY!  Two weeks of restrictions have made me crazy…have maybe yes or maybe no followed the rules of leaving the bandage on and not using the thumb…

Everyone takes their house phone with them when they leave the house, right?  Guess we get so used to our cell phones, was still on the phone with my husband when Bubba and I headed out of the house in the morning.  The kids like to tease me when I do this.  If one of the cordless phones are missing, check mom’s pickup.

Heading to the city to doctor appointment, 8:15ish AM, so happy the rain has finally stopped and not understanding why so many people are moving so early in the morning.  

Waiting and wondering whether or not the doctor is going to get after me for replacing my bandages.  Was thankful I’d brought my tablet, waited for over an hour.

Had a tension cyst removed a couple weeks ago.  Looks good for following only one of the rules which was to not get the stitches wet. Doctor didn’t say anything about not following the rules. 

Feels so good to have my hand feeling air again!  Feels good in general! Hope to not have this issue again.  

Ran to the mall to grab a few things afterwards, went into the bathroom at Sears and washed my hands just to feel the cool water on my hand, wouldn’t think such a little thing would feel so grand.  

Such a good day…just no rain and the sun being out was so wonderful! Haven’t had much of that lately.  Still had to run the furnace a bit in the evening to get rid of the bite in the air.  

Wish I had a picture, Leo and friend Keaton started building down the road at Keaton’s grandpa’s last night.  Keaton’s step-dad is going to teach the boys how to ride bulls, the boys are building the chute.  With no help from the adults they did a good job for 14 and 15 years old. We’ll see how far they get with riding.  Casey is going to start them with heifers less than 1000 lbs.  

Have to love farm boys and what they come up with.  Keaton’s mom picked the boys up after school and stopped by our place for Leo to change before heading over to grandpa’s place.  We had to wonder what these two yahoos will come up with next!  

Peace! 

 

 

Monday 5. December 2016

So enjoying spending some time in my chair tonight!  Went to Nebraska City with a friend today for a bit of Christmas shopping!  Up by 7 a.m., running crazy to get ready while Kirk and Leo were getting ready to get out the door.  We are really lucky that this isn’t an everyday thing…two bathrooms are not enough for the three of us.  Not sure, but one would think two guys could work with one bathroom, but what do I know.  

Most know I’m NOT a morning person, once upon a time I was, but that was before working night hours at Wal-Mart when I was a young newly wed and then kids and being a stay-at-home mom…I just work better at night when people are sleeping.  The Old Boy doesn’t like it, but such is life, not getting enough sleep is what I’m doing to myself.

Jo was here about 8 this morning and off we went.  It was nice getting to drive through Omaha after the morning work rush.  I don’t do Omaha well, I can get to the zoo and to where Kaet used to have dance competitions each spring and I can drive through on I80 and I29, but don’t actually like doing any of the above because I don’t do well in intense traffic.  Last time I drove through during rush hour and swore next time I drove through that I was going to put a sign up on my back window warning that I was a RURAL DRIVER!  God Bless everyone who can drive in the wall to wall traffic, my nerves just can’t handle it.

There’s a nice western store in Nebraska City.  Jo and I possibly went a little crazy!  We were able to make a good dent in our Christmas shopping though.  

We asked the people working as The Fort about a good place for lunch and they sent us to the neatest little tea room with the best soup and paninis.  We sat and visited and shopped a little more in their neat shop, tons of Christmas do-dads and what-nots.  Picked up three beautiful glass ornaments.

By the time we headed back north Omaha was starting to pick up, was a bit more stressful but Jo let me know when I could and couldn’t make lane changes.  

Kaet started her new job today, a big girl job with benefits!  She also started her last week of college today! Seems crazy that we have a child old enough to be done with school.

The really crazy thing hit me last night while washing dishes…Kaet is a couple weeks short of the age I was when I had her.  My mom and Kirk’s mom both had two kids kids already by the time they were her age.  It blows me away, she’s so young and I didn’t feel that young at the time Kirk and I got married and then had her more than a year-and-a-half later.  

We actually got married two weeks after I graduated from college. Thankfully she’s listened to me and my mother over the years, how to not settle down too soon, to live life a little before even starting to think about it.  I was 20, mom was 19, Kirk’s mom was 16, her mother was 15, when we got married and we all have thus far remained married to the love of our teen lives.  Of course Gramma Max passed away a handful of years ago.

I’m so happy to see how Kaet has changed over the years and so proud of how she’s turned out thus far and so proud of her mindset about so many things in life.  We worried when she was in junior high and high school and early college, somewhat of an airhead…sorry Kaet…she had her moments when it didn’t seem as though she knew up from down.  She’s made a lot of good decisions and we’ve talked about down the road and I’m so impressed with her throughts for the future!  


Know if she’ll only change her mind about someday having a grandbaby for me to spoil!  The granddogs just aren’t the same, although I’m in no hurry….have one of her high school boyfriends who has two little girls I can spoil at the moment!

With all that being said, suppose it’s about time to get off my duff and get a few things accomplished tonight.

Peace!

Thursday 10. March 2016 a.m.

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Slowly getting moving this morning…who the hell am I kidding…it’s always slow moving in the morning for this Old Lady…maybe if I learned to go to bed before 2 a.m. and could sleep for more than three or four hours at a time, but not holding my breath on that ever happening.  My favorite time of the day is late at night/the wee hours of the morning, such a peaceful time.

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The time of day I play the old shows Finn likes so much.  Kinda sad to say that I get such a kick watching my dog watch tv.  Something about the old black and white shows, shows with animals, the little bugger goes crazy barking and growling at the tv, jumping around like a Mexican Jumping Bean in front of the tv and running back and forth from the arm of the couch to the floor below the tv.  Yes, it’s a sad and pitiful life!  

This week I’ve been struggling dealing with the guys in my life…

First, really wish I could wrap my head around the way a 14 year old thinks!  Don’t know how many times this school year I’ve commented to my husband that I really wish I could get into a junior high aged boy’s mind….The Old Boy just laughs and doesn’t offer any insight.  The Boy just, is, well….GROSS!  Why?  

Is it really that hard to wash your face, brush your teeth and put on decent clothes every morning for school?  Seriously, the huffing and puffing about having to do the basic daily things in life. Getting the child to, oh, I don’t know, pick up the dirty clothes off his floor just once a week…next to impossible.  

This school year I’ve really come to feel like a failure as a boy mom.  I’ve been trying so hard to incorporate various things into our daily life that will strengthen him in mind, body and spirit, to teach him the importance of the basic day to day routines…so often I feel like a total and complete failure.  However, there are those occasional moments that make me feel like, wow…I’m getting through to him!  

Still, feel like raising a junior high aged girl was WAY easier than raising a junior high aged boy. Hope to get the hang of this boy thing at sometime in the near future…won’t hold my breath though.  

Then, my husband…LOVE him like no other, but there are times when I get so frustrated, as I’m sure he gets with me.  

Last weekend we were supposed to go to Guthrie, Oklahoma to the timed events at the Lazy E Arena, I’d mentioned it well before Christmas, we haven’t been in years and I was so excited about taking Bubba and going again.  Of course, as per usual, we weren’t able to find anyone to take care of horse chores, so it was a no go.  To tell the truth, don’t think The Old Boy looked too hard to find someone.  

I could have dealt with it better had a roping not come up that made me feel like he chose to not find someone to do chores so he could do something he would much rather do.  It wasn’t just a local roping, it was an out of state roping, he and his buddy left Friday afternoon and didn’t get home until late Sunday night.  BOOM!  Chore person for the weekend…right here!  

Spending the past almost 30 years with a cowboy, you’d think I’d be good with the routine of roping and rodeo coming first, most of the time I am…sometimes I’d like to come first.  I’d like to feel not guilty when I ask The Old Boy to cancel roping for something family related, which I seldom do.  Having grown up on a farm, one would think I’d be used to other things coming first.  Time for the fields to be put in, short window opening for getting the alfalfa down, baled and out of the field, ect.

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My husband is the typical header, there’s no changing him…to tell the truth, I wouldn’t want to. He’s all mine, pain in the ass and all…sometimes I just get frustrated.  Figure it’s pretty even, I can be a royal pain in the ass too!  I’m a Petersen, it’s a given!

Well crap…suppose it’s about time I get a few things done for the day…

Take Care!

Peace!

One of Those Days

Having one of those days/nights.  I’ve just been wanting some quiet me time and it’s far from what I’ve gotten.  Well, guess I am being selfish…I did go to the city and do some running this afternoon, but that’s just not the same.  Guess I’m just in one of my moods.  

Made the dog and the cat get off me a little while ago and neither were happy with me, especially the dog, he likes to stay attached to the hip, especially when I’ve been gone for any period of time.  I love him to pieces, but he can smother.  I’d come down to my dungeon earlier because I felt like writing, but you know it’s hard to do when you have bodies on you!  I can see him at the moment, watching me from his pile of dog pillows, blankets and toys, he’s so neglected.  

I’ve actually been doing a lot of thinking lately.  The weather is finally turning for the better, at least for the time being…my husband is complaining about the mud but I’m keeping to my earlier promise to not complain about the slop if it would just warm up a bit.  

Anyway, I tend to get off track…I’ve been thinking of the things to start doing in order to better myself, for myself.  You know that thing it’s hard to do when you are a mom.  

I have started drinking a big glass of orange juice a day (when my husband reminds me), I’ve read it’s good for high cholesterol.  That’s an easy enough habit to get into even when I don’t like the stuff.  

I’m thinking I NEED to get back into going to church.  Bubba and I have been going on Wednesday evenings for Lent, and it’s done what I’ve hoped it would do, make me feel like I can get my hind end out of bed on Sunday mornings and get back to church.  I miss it.  I always feel so good when I’ve gone, but I am the worse morning person in the world.  If service could just be at 10:30 instead of 9:30 it would be so much easier…as I’m looking at the clock and it’s almost 1 a.m. already.  

I’ve always had a night owl issue, it has to run in the DNA because it goes back to my dad and his mom and my kids are the same way, my husband can go to bed at 7 and sleep until morning.  Don’t know how he does it, I can’t sleep for more than 3, 4 hours tops without waking up, think it comes from being mom, always getting up to check on the kids during the night and dogs who decide to bark because the wind changed direction.  

Anyway, off track again…I know I need to work on changing my routine, but saying and planning and doing are of course two totally different things.  For 20 years I’ve waited all day, until after everyone is in bed to have my time. That’s when I watch my political shows, watch the news, crochet and smoke, I have my body trained and I’ve been having a hell of a time making myself make the changes.  I’m down to one child at home and he’s in school all day, I can take my time during breaks during the usual taking care of things routine, but I feel guilty taking my time during the day, even when no one is home.  I know, it doesn’t make much sense.

Just making myself go to bed 30 minutes early seems like I’m cutting off my own toes, it shouldn’t be that hard to start at 30 minutes and work up from there.  

There is no reason I can’t start making these changes, I have to get off my ass and make myself make these changes. I just have to keep reminding myself that it takes 20 days or something like that, to make a new change a habit, or however the saying goes.  

Well hell…I suppose, tomorrow day should be a busy one.  Have the alarm set already to get up for church, we’ll see if I get my butt moving or not.  

In the afternoon there’s going to be a very sad birthday party for our family.  My cousin who died a little over a month ago, both his and his little boy’s birthday is tomorrow.  Going to have a party for the little guy and then a balloon send off for Chad for his first heavenly birthday, guessing it’s going to be a tear jerker.  Going to be really tough on Aiden over the years, it was always so special that he was born on his daddy’s birthday, and he is such a big daddy’s boy.

There is also team sorting tomorrow and I’m sure Bubba won’t want to be going to any birthday party, he and Kaet’s boyfriend have their Sunday routine.  He’s really going to howl if I actually get my butt moving for church and get him up to go.  He likes church, but like his mother, doesn’t like to get up early on the weekend and then get cleaned up on top of it…he’s 13, so having to dress in decent clothes AND tuck his shirt in just about does him in.  

It really would have been great if we’d been able to go to Oklahoma this weekend like we’d wanted to do.  Too much going on for the Old Boy to get away, maybe next year we’ll make it to the timed events at The Lazy E, it’s been a few years since we’ve been able to go.  

Okay, that’s it…I have to make myself shake it…take care!